Circumstances
by Fleur06
Summary: I always wondered what happened that got Bensidy together, so this is my take on it, have only just started watching and started with season 14. This is from the end of episode 2 up to at least Undercover blue and probably furhter enjoy and please review if you like it.
1. Chapter 1

_This is taken from the first episodes of season 14, I love the Cassidy Olivia relationship and wish there was something about how they got together not just her mystery guy it goes up to Undercover Blue and probably further._

_This is my taking on it all, with pieces taken from the various episodes to give it where it is taken from and missing bits too. _

_The first bit has a lot from the first episode in season 14 with bits added into it, the rest a lot will be my ideas with bits added it from various episodes _

_A/N I have only just started watching Law and Order SVU and started at season 14 and loved Bensidy together so decided to write this one. Please review if you like it thanks _

_I really can't help myself should stick to one but had two in my head, and another one coming _

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Sitting on the bed holding Cassidy's hand seeing him there lying there, if she closes her eyes she can still see and hear the gun shots and him falling to the ground, it all happened so fast one moment they were walking out of the building when she saw the thieves at the car running after them turning around she saw Cassidy had pulled him gun on the other guy hearing the sirens turn up running around seeing the guns aimed on Cassidy there was no doubt in her mind it was a set up the police car got there that fast and the guys at the car, now with Cassidy out of danger she could relax slightly.

Walking into his room sipping the glass of water relief there that he was going to be ok" Ganzel called in a favour" seeing the shocked look on Cassidy's face "he paid for the flowers and the hospital room" moving over to the bed sitting on it watching as his face screws up with pain, turning around looking at him the fear she felt hearing the gun shots watching as he fell to the ground racing out screaming out "no, no. no Cassidy Cassidy" it was at that moment that something happened running over to him into her coms 10 13 officer down" and it wasn't just any officer but Cassidy trying to keep her emotions in check and her voice betraying how she felt the urgency in her voice, kneeling down and touching his chest why was the thought of losing Cassidy so scary touching his chest near the shots screaming out the fear no longer hidden "call a bus" this whole situation was out of control how could the officer had shot him, she heard him say she was on the job his hands up touching his face he had to hold on she couldn't have him die stroking his face the need to keep him alive and conscious.

Walking over to the bed sitting on the side reaching for his hands, she wanted to be here to sit next to him to know he was alright she could of told him standing up but to see him lying in the hospital bed "Ganzel made you" watching his face the pain there trying to get comfortable but she couldn't move she just wanted to be close to him "Can you blame the guy I mean those bugs, stupid bugs"

Her hands on each arms before one of them reaching up going through his hair down the side of his face so gently it was happening she just had to touch him, her voice soft her eyes not leaving his "ÿou should of told Foster" her hand reaching his shoulder watching his eyes on her "no way she would of pulled me in and then what go back to investigate dry cleaner break in" watching him wince in pain as he tries to get comfortable "I'm remaining there, like you Liv this job is the only thing I've got" seeing him move the pain evident her hands gently on the top of his shoulder her eyes not moving from him at all her head tilted side ways her voice soft "I'm not who I used to be" a smile on her face

Tilting his head slightly, damn she looked gorgeous was it the pain killers talking moving his head slightly his eyes not moving from hers "sure you are" her head still on the side seeing the smile on her face shaking her head slightly "no I'm not".

Holding his hand looking into his eyes was it 13 years ago that they had that one night stand she was a different person now, through it all she had seen Brian in a different light there was something appealing about him., looking into his eyes, her eyes hadn't left his, it felt so natural as she leant down as her lips found his the kiss so sweet soft and gentle the surprise on his face his head tilted sideways "that was nice" her hands still in his "something about a man in a hospital bed" his eyes not leaving hers he had seen the way she looked at him in the bus and on the ground "ok Florence Nightingale" her hands still on his shoulder leaning down and kissing him again this time longer it still felt so right.

Drawing herself away from him "I have to get back to work" his eyes following her every move he wanted her 13 years ago and she gave him the brush off, she slept with him and that was it "will you be coming back Liv" his voice was slightly hopeful turning around to look at him "something about a guy in a hospital bed" nodding "see you later"

Watching Olivia walk out, he watched her run back to him with the police his eyes moved from his target for a second before he was shot, he didn't want Liv caught up in it all calling out "Liv get back, Liv get back" he didn't'want her shot he didn't want anything happening to her in the previous weeks there was something about her she looked great and they were working well together he remembers looking up into her face, her gentle hands stroking him, on his chest in the bus she was there holding his hand stroking the hair all he could was look at her the fear in his eyes that this could be it just then it wasn't his imagination her hands going over his hair down his face that touch was so different he wanted to touch her again.

Walking out of the hospital her hand gently going across her lip, she could still feel his lips on hers, she didn't even mean to kiss him but it felt right and so natural, the thought that he could of died was the jolt that she needed to realize that she had started to have feelings for him again, she did want him all those years ago but the rule of no sleeping or dating a work mate but now all the time she had spent with him there was something there and she wanted to find out what it was she had felt the chemistry between them shit even Ganzell got tell something was going on, what did he say "do you two want a room" travelling in the bus with him holding his hand stroking his forehead "stay with me Cassidy, ok you hang in there, we're going to be there soon ok" stroking his hand seeing his eyes looking up at him, then her heart plummeting as the machines started beeping hearing the paramedics "we've lost him" calling out "do something" sitting then looking at him her hands covered in blood watching as they worked on him her eyes not moving, it was then she realized she didn't want to lose him she wanted to be with him to say she was sorry for the way she treated him to say she wanted to start over again for some reason the past few weeks the more time she spent with him the more she enjoyed it the thought of not seeing him again, shaking her head slightly she didn't even want to imagine that.

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Did she just hear right, Cassdiy and Carissa had been sleeping together here she was thinking that maybe they could start something again the way the tape sounded was it serious was he in love with her, how long where they sleeping together part of her wanted to go to the hospital and tell him what a jerk he was and that she wanted nothing to do with him every again but there was a slim hope that it wasn't what it sounded like that maybe it was just once or twice yeah that was bad enough but she knew what Carissa was like with Nick playing him to fall for her to sleep with her, was that what happened, she didn't want to believe it. Hearing her name "Liv, go to the hospital and speak to Cassidy then report back to Foster"

Standing at the hospital door watching as he lay in the bed a small smile on her face walking over closer to the bed, seeing a smile on his face "hey Liv" watching as he winced as he tried to move and sit up "two days in a row" watching as she stood away from him her hands playing with each other this was the same Olivia as yesterday was she regretting again what happened "what's going on here Liv"

Turning to face him "You and Carrissa" looking up at Olivia this was official, or did she find out "what about it" walking closer to him did she want to know the truth "what was going on between you and Carissa?" her brown eyes looking at him searching his eyes for answers "I want the truth Brian, tell me about your relationship with her" pushing himself further up wincing with the movement he wished that Olivia had never found out he had hoped it wouldn't with Carissa dead but here it was "what relationship" seeing her eyes not believing him "It's not what it seems like Liv" pacing around the room shaking her head at the moment it all seemed pretty damn obvious and she was a fool for believing that maybe there was something between them, him being cagey suggested more than she wanted "what's that, did you know Ganzell killed Carissa as she was sleeping with you, you told her to leave Ganzell" raising her eyebrows slightly "is that a start" interrupting her "you believe that scum after what he did to me, he's the reason I'm in here Liv two bullets to the chest" her eyes moving around the room "No Brian, you slept with Carissa you jeopardized the investigation, we have it on tap, Ganzell spilled out about you sleeping with her, he killed her as he thought she had told you everything" shaking her head trying to understand it all "what were you thinking"

Looking up at Olivia some things never changed "Don't judge me here Liv, yeah I had sex with Carissa I started to get involved with her, you have no idea what the job entailed Ganzell owned an escort service me and Carissa it just happened" walking over to the bed putting her hands on the side of it, watching his had moving closer to her "it just happened, Did you know she was going to leave Ganzell for you, that she was in love with you, I don't call that casual breaking off her engagement" not wanting to answer the question his voice rising "she didn't tell me anything about what they were planning, they had a special phone to each other no one was allowed in the room when that rang, he wasn't in love with her, she had the looks and beauty he wanted she could do so much better, I was trying to help her get away from him, she could do better start a better life" shaking her head rolling her eyes "what by sleeping with her, when did it start"

Watching her pace around the room she seemed annoyed slightly about it all he never thought he would see her again or that something would happen but here she was pacing the room and here he had to tell her things he wished he didn't have to and she wouldn't of found out "we had something since Christmas eve, you got to believe me Liv, she threw herself at me I resisted at first but Hey I'm a guy" turning to look at him shaking her head "she was Gaznel's finance did you really think he wouldn't find out, what was to stop her from telling him about you and killing you" titling his head slightly "I know he treated her like shit she was one of his top girls even though they were engaged he still send her out to parties, she never said anything about Cragen or the premier she was unhappy but she was sweet give me some credit here Liv, I knew not to say anything to her, it wasn't what it looked like" turning to look at him in disbelief "she was conniving, set up Amaro, and look what has happened to Cragen"

Looking at Olivia stopping her eyes upon him "your partner he'd do a good job of that by himself you need to keep him on a leash Liv, he pulled a gun on me that guy's in sane"

The conversation nearly finished "did you know she was in love with you and going to leave Ganzel for you?" seeing Olivia looking at him still "she wasn't in love with me Liv she might of thought that, I treated her different but I wouldn't of let that happen" moving towards the door she wished she believed him her voice rising "it nearly did, did you tell her to leave Ganzel" his head turned following her around he was stupid for letting it happen but he did have some feelings for Carissa "it wasn't like that, there was more to it" turning around to look at him "such as, what do you mean?" looking up at her wincing as he moves "Cmon Liv, give me a break here, I've been UC for 3 years for Bart and knew Carissa for a while, if I told Foster she would of taken me out, yeah I know I could of jeopardized the investigation but even Foster didn't know or Bart until Carissa must of told him… what about you and Haden Liv, your relationship with him, you can't judge me here" looking up at Olivia seeing her closer to the bed her head tilted to the side she was hot when he met her 13 years ago and she was still as hot now shaking her head at him "that isn't the same" he had heard about her whilst he was undercover her name coming up "maybe not but you still went there even though you knew you shouldn't, situations happen and we can't control how we act" looking at him into his eyes the question she wanted to know "did you love her?"

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	2. Chapter 2

Thank you everyone who is reading it and following it, hope you continue to enjoy it and please review it too

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Looking at Olivia was this what it was about 13 years ago she had hurt him badly she wanted it as one night he wanted more he had feelings for her then he never expected to see her again "shit no Liv, it wasn't about love or anything" shaking her head "just about sex then"

His frustration at Olivia building "no, it wasn't like that, yeah we were involved it was nothing serious not on my side yeah I liked her"

Looking up at Olivia why was she so upset by it all it all happened when they weren't even in contact with each other did it mean she actually had feelings for him and that something had developed between them "Liv, come over and sit on the bed please" staring at Cassidy lying in bed why was she hurt by it all, they weren't even going out she had forgotten about him did she really know him at all and shit why did Haden's name come up "I have to go" a smile on his face "no Florence Nightingale this time?"

Watching as she walks to the door he didn't want not to see her again he wanted her to understand to talk again "Liv can I see you again, I need to explain it but just not now or here, can we go out to dinner, coffee" turning to look at him before walking out "I'd say you have other things to think about, like how you're going to explain this to IAD and Foster" watching as she walks out talking to himself "well that's not a no"

Walking out the hospital door, why was she so angry and mad at him and hurt, did she actually think they had a future together, she treated him badly but she did remember the sex it was great together but even if he was one of the best she had in all those years, could she look past him sleeping with Carissa. She knew she felt something it had been developing over the weeks and now other than fear did all of this make a difference they weren't even in contact when it happened but for some reason she felt slightly betrayed.

Walking into the office of Foster "did Cassidy confirm it?" standing away from foster she had composed herself now, she wanted to yell at Cassidy do more "and admitted that he and Carissa had been having an affair since Christmas Eve" looking across at her "he didn't tell me about the affair the son of a bitch jeopardized a 3 year investigation" nodding at Foster did she want to know what was going to happen "like you said everyone has secrets", did she believe what he said, why did she even kiss him in the hospital bed, she knew those answer she felt something between them and she wondered if she would be able to walk away and out of his life again

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Walking into his apartment it had been a while since he had no undercover work, now waiting for IAB ruling and investigation into the claims of him sleeping with Carissa, did he really think he would get away with it. For the time being he was suspended with pay.

Sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand could he take the risk on Olivia again, would she hurt him again her words echoing through his mind "I'm not who I used to be" there had been something simmering between them he had felt it she obviously had she had kissed him twice her lips on his her soft so touch and gentle in the ambulance, the thought of her getting shot as she ran back to him Liv No, he didn't want her caught up in it all, even then he knew he was developing feelings for her, he was wary though despite the 13 year gap she had treated him badly used him for sex and tossed him aside he made the mistake of sleeping with her a couple more times, he couldn't help it he wanted her then and he still did now.

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It wasn't long before Cragen was back her thoughts kept going back to Cassidy what they shared in the hospital the feelings she had started to develop over the previous weeks, the knot in her stomach and fear that she felt when he was shot when the lines went flat in the ambulance the fear that she was losing him and this time for good, this time she felt something for him she wanted him in her life she had pushed him away 13 years ago she treated him badly. Should she make the first move what was she scared off.

Hearing her phone beep her heart skipping a beat seeing the name pop up on her screen Brian Cassidy opening up the message a smile on her face he had taken the first step if she pushed him away now she knew she might not be given the second chance, she had ignored his phone call previously part of her wanted to ring her back the other part was scared, scared to take a chance of falling in love, scared of how she might feel of getting hurt she had replied briefly to one message a few days ago she needed time to think, all the time in the world she doubt she would change how she felt she was just scared of giving them a second chance but deep down she wanted to know what he was feeling and if they did have a chance.

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He had wanted something with Olivia for years when they first started at SVU well when Liv did, he did a few months later well about 8 months or so they got drunk and ended up sleeping together it was a great night, she was amazing it was amazing, he never forgot that night as he wanted more and more he was glad in a way he left as she was moving on and he hated the fact that she didn't want anything to do with him, waiting for Liv to walk into the coffee shop he had sent her messages and phone calls he wasn't going to give up, those kisses at the hospital meant something, looking up smiling at her as she walked over god she looked beautiful even all these years later her long hair falling down past her shoulders brushed back slightly but it was the smile on her the smile that lit of her whole face and those brown eyes that sparkled, he had forgotten all of that.

Sitting opposite Brian in the coffee shop "what's this about Bri" putting his hand on the table he wanted to reach out and grab hers "I wanted to explain about Carissa, I have to go before IAB this week, and I didn't want you to hear it all from someone else". Her brown eyes upon him damn did she have to look so gorgeous "I did have feelings for Carissa she was vulnerable and I wanted to help her" seeing her eyes looking straight into her "I didn't take advantage of her, she came onto me, and I didn't resist her, I know I should of but she doesn't take no for an answer it felt good someone wanting me" taking a sip of the coffee before continuing "I know it isn't an excuse but I had woman throwing themselves at me, and each time I resisted to show I wasn't in the police I had to do stuff I wish I didn't but these undercover gigs I couldn't blow my cover but Carissa was different, she could of done better than Ganzell, he treated her like his property, at first I wanted to push her away but she kept coming back and in the end I didn't resist I should have and now wish I did but Liv, I'm sorry maybe I should of said something sooner but I couldn't have Ganzell find out. I guessed she was developing feelings for me but I didn't want to admit it what started out as something casual between us was developing I never told her to leave Ganzell but said he should of treated her better, I should off backed off I know that now but she had a way and a vulnerability about her I didn't know she told Ganzell that she was leaving him for me and was in love with me, I had no idea that she felt that way, believe me Liv I wasn't in love with her, yeah I had some feelings for her but I didn't use her and I should of stopped it I know that it was stupid, plain stupid" reaching out for her hand "after the hospital or even before that I didn't want you to know maybe I should of told you instead of you finding out the way you did but I ….. I , to find out I felt something between us and when you kissed me it felt nice and wonderful then you kissed me again I want you Liv I want to go out with you for you to give us a go, to see how it goes"


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thank you for the reviews, hope you enjoy it **_

_**Sorry its taken so long to update was debating on what to do for the ending, as I added to it, the ending will be put over to the next chapter so can still decide**_

_**Hope you enjoy it! **_

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Looking across the table at Cassidy the touch of his hand sending tingles down her, she was having feelings for him feelings she didn't want to have "I don't know Bri"

looking into her eyes he wanted her to believe him "Liv, just take a chance, try to pretend this didn't happen, move forward take a chance on us"

Hearing her phone ring "Benson" hanging up a few minutes later throwing him an apologetic look "Sorry, I have to go"

watching as she stands up "we need to talk about this Liv" putting money on the table an apologetic smile on her face "yeah we will, not just now, I really do have to go"

Walking inside her apartment the day long, putting her feet up on the lounge a glass of wine next to her, leaning back. Closing her eyes why couldn't she get Cassidy out of her head why did that small kiss in the hospital mean so much to her, he had called her and texted her there was something between them looking around her apartment she couldn't deny that it would be nice to come home and have someone to cuddle up to, someone who actually understood the demands of the job, someone who knew that work came first, did he know that she was pretty sure he was the same as her would it actually hurt to take a chance it didn't have to be serious just see where it went.

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Walking around the bottom of the stairs how long did it take to go in front of the Internal Affairs Board she knew his meeting was today, she had excused herself for a couple of hours following up leads she said to Nick. Brought out of her thoughts hearing her name "Liv"

Turning around there he was in a suit by the look on his face she knew it wasn't good "what are you doing here"

what could she say that it was where she had to be instead she replied simply "how did it go?"

Walking down the stairs the surprise there at seeing Olivia pacing around he didn't expect to see her especially today seeing her brown eyes looking intently at him worry and caring in them "want to get a drink"

A smile on her face nodding slightly "yeah" work could wait she wanted to be here with Brian

Walking along the street in silence his hand reaching down for hers not resisting it felt the natural thing to do. Sitting opposite him her elbow on the table bought out of her thoughts by his voice "Liv, aren't you meant to be at work"

Nodding her eyes focused on his, what was she to say that she wanted to be here for him instead it was just "yeah" seeing his eyes wanting her to continue "I wanted to see how it went"

Slamming his fist loudly onto the table "they've taken my shield away from me, I'm no longer a detective Liv, no longer able to go undercover, they have put me at the Bronx courthouse, the Bronx that is where they send people who they no longer want, I have given 17 fucken years of my life to the service to being a police, I have been undercover, shot in the chest and this is how they repay me, the fucken Bronx"

Reaching out to touch his hand she had hoped he would of gotten off more lightly but also knew how fucked up IAB was "how long for?"

Shrugging moving his hand away to rub his face "god knows how long, I have to do the night shifts finish at 6 am, I got so much information for them on that case gave up 3 years of my life I made one fucken stupid mistake of becoming involved and having sex with Carissa and this is what they do"

Reaching out and grabbing his hands "Bri calm down, maybe you can appeal it"

looking at her she was gorgeous her brown eyes serious "Seriously Liv, you know IAB there not going to give it back to me, and I'm not going to beg for it, I don't owe them shit"

Looking at her watch "I have to go, want to catch up later for a bite to eat"

smiling at her watching her hair flick back her eyes not moving from his "maybe another time"

Standing up her eyes raised a smile on her face "Cassidy is this the same guy who has been after me for weeks, now saying another time"

Reaching out for her hand she is so close to him he wanted so much to go out with her despite the fact that she hurt him last time he didn't want to let her go again "I'm sorry Liv, today's just not a good day, I want our first date to be great"

Titling her head sideways looking back into his eyes "first date, I don't recall mentioning a date Cassidy, just something to eat"

Standing up facing her pulling her towards him her face inches from his "it's going to be the first of many Liv, isn't that why you came here today"

Shaking her head her heart beating faster needing to move away from him hearing him call out "how about I pick you up tomorrow night"

Turning to face him a smile on her face "give me a call and I'll meet you there"

Hearing him call out to her "that's officially a date then"

A smile on her face as she runs off, was she actually going on a date with Brian Cassidy it didn't mean anything just dinner with an old friend she had to keep telling herself that it might not go anywhere or even last hearing her phone ring "Benson"

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Picking up her bag at work thankful that the day had gone quickly and she could leave early her mind unable to concentrate despite pushing Brian away she wanted this wanted to go out with him there was something between them nothing serious "see you guys tomorrow"

Seeing Munch's eyes on her "Having an early night, what happened to the Detective Benson we all know"

Smiling at him as she continues walking "I'm taking the night off"

Walking into the restaurant looking around a smile on her face as she sees Brian in the corner his eyes glancing at the door "you really don't want anyone to see us?"

His eyes going over her body she looked great she always looked terrific but the small amount of make up she had one her hair tumbling below her shoulders her white top "you look great Liv"

Sitting down opposite him he had shaved she liked the subtle growth on him "you don't look too bad yourself" her eyes moving around "dark secluded corner Bri?"

His eyes not moving from hers "its not what you think Liv even though I wouldn't mind, I know you, you won't want anyone seeing you here and I'm fine with that"

Her eyes raised at him he did know her he was right she didn't want Amaro to find out or anyone it was none of their business reaching out for his hand "thanks, not just yet this mightn't even work"

His eyes boring into hers with such intensity "do you want it to work Liv?"

Looking at Cassidy did she want it to work did she want to start something with him was she leading him on would it work out, nodding at him "I'd like to see where it goes, if it goes somewhere see if we are meant to be more than friends, what about you do you want it to work?"

Nodding at Olivia reaching out for her hand "I've wanted you for 12 years Liv ever since you walked into SVU, things though didn't work out as I had hoped"

Her eyes looking down slightly before looking up at Brian "I'm sorry Bri for the way I treated you 12 years ago, that situation…."

Looking at Olivia he remembered back all those years ago he wanted her so badly then and in all the years that passed he still "our drunken amazing night together"

Biting her lips nodding she could still remember the way she treated him, she had no idea how to handle it then she shouldn't of slept with him in the first place but after going out for drinks and both getting drunk she did "I treated you badly, I didn't handle that moment well I'm not who I used to be"

His eyes on Olivia he could see into her eyes "we both could of handled the situation better Liv" a smile on his face the fact he was hurt by her all those years ago but he was going to risk it again.

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Walking out of the restaurant feeling Brian's hand reach for hers she didn't want the night to end she had enjoyed his company stopping turning to face him "want a night cap"

Seeing his eyes meeting hers as he faces her did he want the night to end, his reply answering her question "I know a great little place around here"

Her eyes focused on his not moving as his hand moves up her arm to her shoulder titling her head sideways "I was thinking more about my place" the smile on his face increasing feeling his arm pulling her close to him, it felt right and natural and she didn't want the night to end


End file.
